Who Am I? - Self Actualization in Action

In my last post, I mentioned that there would be 12 entries describing the various aspects of Freedom that I am aiming to illuminate, disseminate and propagate - but as I allowed the first entry to settle, I realized some clarification was needed.   I have been pondering a question for the past few months since I left my life aboard cruise ships and the platform of SELF ACTUALIZATION seemed to provide the perfect springboard to begin to answer it.  So, the 12 will have to expand...

I had the good fortune of meeting a wonderful friend who was not only curious about my motives and experience, but was also intent on clarifying that understanding by way of intellectual challenge.  I had been in the process of describing that during 7 + years of eating a version of a vegetarian diet (sometimes that diet included eggs, milk and fish along with the plant sourced food) that I refused to acknowledge myself as a Vegetarian.  I would insist that I simply eat a vegetarian diet.

"Isn't that a cop out?  Aren't you just being unwilling to commit yourself to who you are and what you stand for?"

My intention had been to express a revelation I had about identity and how it is related to the structure of our self belief and has the potential of limiting one's choices.  I wanted to communicate the idea that rather than responding spontaneously and authentically to the needs of the moment, it is so easy to make choices governed by the belief structures we create that we often cause detrimental limitations in our experience of freedom because those rigid beliefs do not adjust to the changes going on all around and inside us.

Recent case in point.  I saw on the internet the other day that a Fruitarian (someone who only eats fruit, drinks water and breathes air for physical subsistence) died as a result of B12 deficiency.

I obviously can't speak about the direct cause of this person's death, and it is not my intention to disrespect the bereaved, but I have to wonder, was there ever some signal emanating from within that person's body saying "I need Meat.  Give me Meat.  I want B12!" that was ignored due to the commitment to the belief "I am a Fruitarian" ?

The above example is obviously extreme and few people ever come to a life or death choice regarding their personal identity beliefs.  Or do they?  Is it possible that some of the beliefs we hold with an iron glove contribute to our physical decline?  Is it possible that we hold some beliefs that don't serve our happiness, wellness or relationships?

With these questions in mind it was my intention to honor my freedom, and the ability to change as conditions required and therefore would only say, "I eat a vegetarian diet" and not say "I AM a vegetarian."  Just in case the need to eat a hamburger arose.

"But aren't you only going in Halfway? How can you say that you are fully living anything when you refuse to acknowledge an aspect about yourself that is obviously so clear?"

This was the part of the question I didn't really have an answer for.  Until now.

Isn't the quintessential description of a person in our American society framed by the ice breaking question of "What do you do?" How many times have you met someone and asked or been asked this question - only to be face to face with a short uninspiring answer?  I was lucky over the last few years because people would ask me and I could rather proudly say "I have the best job in the world!  I sell Art on a cruise ship!"  Which of course would result in any number of amorous responses including oohs and ahhs, while I was sitting there thinking,  "You know, it often wasn't as great as it sounds"

Doesn't the idea of SELF-ACTUALIZATION imply that any answer to this question will never be disappointing?  "Oh, I am an accountant."  or "yeah, I work in a cubicle all day"  or "I sell insurance" or "I am a second grade teacher."  All spoken in a dismissive or bored manner tend to highlight the lack of passion we may have developed in our chosen field.  In fact the answers we provide to the "What do you DO, EAT, WEAR, LISTEN TO, WATCH, BELIEVE IN, etc." question is one of the primary ways in which we define ourselves and each other, and wouldn't life be so much better if the answers we had to those questions felt INSPIRING?

While any number of the above answers might be offered with exuberance and confidence, intriguing  the listener or at the very least your self, what is the distinction that makes that happen?  How can I adjust my perspective so that I talk that way?  Haven't you ever met people who were so inspired by what they DO that it is actually justified asking that mundane and all too often asked question?  How do you ACTUALIZE the desires you hold at the core of your being into what you DO, ARE and HAVE?

I would like to invite you to try on a phrase.  Use it to start any answer about who you think you are or what you do.  It goes like this: "I am joyful when..."

Suddenly the answer to the question is WAY more interesting...  "So, what do you do?"

"Well, I take great joy in combining numbers and finding ways to make the additions outweigh the subtractions"
OR
"I am joyful talking to people all day, offering them a product which I know they appreciate having"
OR
"I am joyful when I see someone feel peace of mind from the insurance policy I sell them"

OR to complete my personal answer - "I feel joyful while eating a vegetarian diet"

This kind of answer inspires interest, connection and a source of magnetism - inviting the interest of others and the opportunity to share our inmost desires.

I am beginning to realize that I could make all sorts of I AM statements about my life, and affirm those parts of my life that are matching with my desires.  And the ones that don't sound good when preceded by "I am joyful when..." are giving me a clue as to which aspects of my life probably could use a little tweaking -

For instance in my case:  "I am diabetic" doesn't sound so great in the "I'm joyful when..." statement.   But, when replaced with "I am joyful while experiencing vitality and harmony in my body" I am saying something which not only resonates as true, but points me in the direction of what I desire.  The first statement lumps me into a statistic causing me to feel victimized by a situation outside my control and discouraged by my lack of ability to change anything about it.  The second statement makes me feel hopeful and capable of bringing my desires in to my experience and provides a platform from which to make choices like practicing yoga every day in my home, or taking a walk in the sun.

I'm not necessarily suggesting that the next time you meet someone new, you should just burst out with, "I feel joyful with more credit card debt than I can repay"  but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to try out some of your "I AM" belief statements with the "I feel joyful as..." test.  If you have a thought or belief that doesn't  feel right when applied to the "joyful test" it might just suggest that this belief pattern isn't serving you.  Perhaps it could use a little refinement and exploration.

For instance, "I feel joyful receiving enough money to pay all my bills on time" - this is the SELF ACTUALIZATION shift that can make such a huge difference in how we experience the world and our situation.  It also allows you to define yourself and your beliefs from a platform of joy, rather than a platform of "What Is" - It allows us to fully embrace each aspect of our being, while allowing the space and FREEDOM to change and evolve as necessary.

So now that I've gotten that out there, to answer the question "What do I DO?" since I don't sell art anymore - one option is: "I feel joyful walking other peoples' dogs."

May great Joy and Freedom be yours.  Namaste.



The title and subject of this post was also inspired by a chapter from "Rooted in the Infinite" by Rebbie Straubing.

Building a Pattern of Relief: A Mini Course in 12 Ways of Mastery

This is the first entry of twelve regarding a more clear definition for the mastery of freedom.   I noticed in the past few weeks that Freedom seemed to be something of an undefined term.  Just what is freedom anyway?  There are so many people, each with their own perception of just what it means to be free.  Am I talking about freedom to go where I want to?  Freedom to do what I want to do?  Be who I want to be?  Say what I want to say?  Is Freedom just about property?  Is it about Lunch?

This question has presented itself over the past few weeks as I have relocated to Denver, Colorado.  While visiting a close friend of mine in Boulder, our reminiscing about days gone by prompted a long discussion about philosophy, that spanned the better part of an entire day and included at least half a dozen new friends and way too many beers.  It seemed clear to me during this discussion, that the logical mind often desires to win answers - eventually reaching conclusions for which there is no acceptable argument, and giving a definitive answer to the question at hand.  But life rarely presents itself in this manner.  Winning at life could look so different depending on who is playing - and by what set of rules?

In response to the question which has arisen, I will outline 12 aspects of Freedom, which I believe will cover all the areas of answers which don't necessarily win or lose arguments, but will put those arguments in a context that brings peace to the question.  And, it is my intention that in the writing and sharing of this information, the aspects of life which define Freedom become more definitively grounded in my own experience - in such a way as the quality of each aspect is recognizable in my presence as well as my actions and communications.  So, I would like to invite you to follow along these next 12 entries, as in my experience, commitments like this often make for some bumpy travel ahead, and I could use some companions along the way : )

The first aspect of Freedom I would like to discuss is SELF-ACTUALIZATION.  

As I have contemplated my own Freedom over these past weeks, I have been shaken by my own recognition of the thought patterns which direct my perception.  These habits of thought determine so many things about my experience and I have often found that they direct my day with ZERO conscious participation on my part.  I have been aware for many years now of the influence the sub conscious mind has on our experience.  But what is astounding me is how many thoughts exist in my mind that I didn't consciously choose and are not serving me, or are not leading to the experience of Freedom that I desire.

I think the number one most habitual thought pattern that is recognizable as an aspect of personality, is that which puts me in a bad mood first thing in the morning.  I think most people are aware of the "I'm not a morning person" excuse.  I have certainly repeated that one, I don't know how many times.  Certainly since I was a child.  When the alarm goes off, I am the snooze king.  And even once I'm awake, I would really rather just go back to bed.  But once I do get up, I generally adopt a zombie like demeanor, and have little to offer except grunts and requests for coffee. While I recognize that we do have biorhythmic cycles or circadian rhythms, is it really necessary to be in a bad mood, just for waking up?  Is it possible that being in a bad mood is simply a habitual pattern and network of negative thoughts?  Is it possible that when I wake up in the morning instead of feeling oppressed I might feel some excitement for a new day?  OR at the very least a little bit of RELIEF????

So, Self-Actualization, is partly a process of self recognition.  Of holding up a mirror as one moves through the day, observing, taking note and sometimes congratulating or chastising.  I found myself thinking one day - "How can I be Free when there are so many thoughts I didn't consciously choose determining my experience?"  But, as that thought arrived, I simply replaced it with another one, which feels better to me - "I am Free to create each thought in every moment to match my own desire" - phew, that's a relief.  But easier said than done right?  While habits may die hard, and thought patterns in particular, this process of thought rejuvenation - of consciously participating in the patterning of my mind is actually causing a feeling of renewal - even though I don't catch every negative thought, every reaction, or emotion that doesn't make me or someone else feel good.  This process of renewal is bringing RELIEF from old emotions that seemed to inhabit my experience like an unpleasant neighbor.    Relief from emotions whose existence I never questioned, I just accepted them as a fact of life.  Like being cranky first thing in the morning.

What excites me about this process so much is I can actually build and remodel not only my thoughts, but what flows from my thoughts, my speaking, my actions and by nature of the process of creating, the people, circumstances and events which comprise the experience of my life.  I remember thinking the first time I heard the words SELF-ACTUALIZATION or ENLIGHTENMENT and thought that it was this unreachable state of being that was reserved only for Gurus and Ascetics, Monks and Priests - the holy people who meditate under a Bodhi tree and experience this unbelievable burst of TRUTH and BLISS, and that everyone else was, well ordinary, unremarkable by comparison and unable to participate in any experience resembling bliss or truth.  But, I am finding that it is just a process of being, natural and easily chosen.  Even making mistakes along the way does not seem to ruin the process.  If I take a vacation from choosing my thoughts and run on Auto Pilot for a while, well, the next moment provides a new opportunity.  I will choose the next thought when my awareness is ready and that thought won't be judging my recent vacation. 

So, Freedom is the result of actively choosing one's thoughts, of continually observing and refining those choices to build a network of ideas and feelings which flow out to the world and create the platform from which to experience the life of our choosing.  Freedom is in fact the very process of consciously participating in the choosing of who we are to become and how we will act within the world that surrounds us.  This is sometimes as easy as choosing the next thought.  One that gives a little relief.  One that provides a pleasing experience of change, or the shift from negative experience to a more positive experience.   Relief is generally characterized by something negative - pain, stress, or shackles which is alleviated, eased or removed.  Meaning that most negative experiences, thoughts, and emotions are an experience of oppression - the opposing force when we are considering Freedom.   Thus, in any situation, experience or emotion, it is my commitment of SELF-ACTUALIZATION to discover RELIEF, that I may more fully uncover the Actual experience of Self, the embodiment of Abaddham.  

I appreciate those of you who have read about this first aspect of Freedom - and I hope this helps Self Actualization become an experience which you can ease-fully engage, and that the feeling of relief leads you into a greater Freedom.  Perhaps as a society, if we were to more fully embrace the concept of SELF ACTUALIZATION through the discovery of RELIEF, freedom would not be something we would need to fight for or protect.  For as you will see in the next aspect I explore - Freedom attained through self actualization is something which cannot be taken, cannot be threatened, and cannot be lost.  And it is something which does not depend upon an outside power or force to be sustained.  It is the true definition of SOVEREIGNTY.  

See you along the path of Freedom, and may it be one of renewal, of freshness and vigor.  

Abadhita.

The content of this post is inspired in part by the 12 Responsibilities of Mastery from Azurite Press, Inc. and by "The Great Master" by Toby Alexander.