In my last post, I mentioned that there would be 12 entries describing the various aspects of Freedom that I am aiming to illuminate, disseminate and propagate - but as I allowed the first entry to settle, I realized some clarification was needed. I have been pondering a question for the past few months since I left my life aboard cruise ships and the platform of SELF ACTUALIZATION seemed to provide the perfect springboard to begin to answer it. So, the 12 will have to expand...
I had the good fortune of meeting a wonderful friend who was not only curious about my motives and experience, but was also intent on clarifying that understanding by way of intellectual challenge. I had been in the process of describing that during 7 + years of eating a version of a vegetarian diet (sometimes that diet included eggs, milk and fish along with the plant sourced food) that I refused to acknowledge myself as a Vegetarian. I would insist that I simply eat a vegetarian diet.
"Isn't that a cop out? Aren't you just being unwilling to commit yourself to who you are and what you stand for?"
My intention had been to express a revelation I had about identity and how it is related to the structure of our self belief and has the potential of limiting one's choices. I wanted to communicate the idea that rather than responding spontaneously and authentically to the needs of the moment, it is so easy to make choices governed by the belief structures we create that we often cause detrimental limitations in our experience of freedom because those rigid beliefs do not adjust to the changes going on all around and inside us.
Recent case in point. I saw on the internet the other day that a Fruitarian (someone who only eats fruit, drinks water and breathes air for physical subsistence) died as a result of B12 deficiency.
I obviously can't speak about the direct cause of this person's death, and it is not my intention to disrespect the bereaved, but I have to wonder, was there ever some signal emanating from within that person's body saying "I need Meat. Give me Meat. I want B12!" that was ignored due to the commitment to the belief "I am a Fruitarian" ?
The above example is obviously extreme and few people ever come to a life or death choice regarding their personal identity beliefs. Or do they? Is it possible that some of the beliefs we hold with an iron glove contribute to our physical decline? Is it possible that we hold some beliefs that don't serve our happiness, wellness or relationships?
With these questions in mind it was my intention to honor my freedom, and the ability to change as conditions required and therefore would only say, "I eat a vegetarian diet" and not say "I AM a vegetarian." Just in case the need to eat a hamburger arose.
"But aren't you only going in Halfway? How can you say that you are fully living anything when you refuse to acknowledge an aspect about yourself that is obviously so clear?"
This was the part of the question I didn't really have an answer for. Until now.
Isn't the quintessential description of a person in our American society framed by the ice breaking question of "What do you do?" How many times have you met someone and asked or been asked this question - only to be face to face with a short uninspiring answer? I was lucky over the last few years because people would ask me and I could rather proudly say "I have the best job in the world! I sell Art on a cruise ship!" Which of course would result in any number of amorous responses including oohs and ahhs, while I was sitting there thinking, "You know, it often wasn't as great as it sounds"
Doesn't the idea of SELF-ACTUALIZATION imply that any answer to this question will never be disappointing? "Oh, I am an accountant." or "yeah, I work in a cubicle all day" or "I sell insurance" or "I am a second grade teacher." All spoken in a dismissive or bored manner tend to highlight the lack of passion we may have developed in our chosen field. In fact the answers we provide to the "What do you DO, EAT, WEAR, LISTEN TO, WATCH, BELIEVE IN, etc." question is one of the primary ways in which we define ourselves and each other, and wouldn't life be so much better if the answers we had to those questions felt INSPIRING?
While any number of the above answers might be offered with exuberance and confidence, intriguing the listener or at the very least your self, what is the distinction that makes that happen? How can I adjust my perspective so that I talk that way? Haven't you ever met people who were so inspired by what they DO that it is actually justified asking that mundane and all too often asked question? How do you ACTUALIZE the desires you hold at the core of your being into what you DO, ARE and HAVE?
I would like to invite you to try on a phrase. Use it to start any answer about who you think you are or what you do. It goes like this: "I am joyful when..."
Suddenly the answer to the question is WAY more interesting... "So, what do you do?"
"Well, I take great joy in combining numbers and finding ways to make the additions outweigh the subtractions"
OR
"I am joyful talking to people all day, offering them a product which I know they appreciate having"
OR
"I am joyful when I see someone feel peace of mind from the insurance policy I sell them"
OR to complete my personal answer - "I feel joyful while eating a vegetarian diet"
This kind of answer inspires interest, connection and a source of magnetism - inviting the interest of others and the opportunity to share our inmost desires.
I am beginning to realize that I could make all sorts of I AM statements about my life, and affirm those parts of my life that are matching with my desires. And the ones that don't sound good when preceded by "I am joyful when..." are giving me a clue as to which aspects of my life probably could use a little tweaking -
For instance in my case: "I am diabetic" doesn't sound so great in the "I'm joyful when..." statement. But, when replaced with "I am joyful while experiencing vitality and harmony in my body" I am saying something which not only resonates as true, but points me in the direction of what I desire. The first statement lumps me into a statistic causing me to feel victimized by a situation outside my control and discouraged by my lack of ability to change anything about it. The second statement makes me feel hopeful and capable of bringing my desires in to my experience and provides a platform from which to make choices like practicing yoga every day in my home, or taking a walk in the sun.
I'm not necessarily suggesting that the next time you meet someone new, you should just burst out with, "I feel joyful with more credit card debt than I can repay" but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to try out some of your "I AM" belief statements with the "I feel joyful as..." test. If you have a thought or belief that doesn't feel right when applied to the "joyful test" it might just suggest that this belief pattern isn't serving you. Perhaps it could use a little refinement and exploration.
For instance, "I feel joyful receiving enough money to pay all my bills on time" - this is the SELF ACTUALIZATION shift that can make such a huge difference in how we experience the world and our situation. It also allows you to define yourself and your beliefs from a platform of joy, rather than a platform of "What Is" - It allows us to fully embrace each aspect of our being, while allowing the space and FREEDOM to change and evolve as necessary.
So now that I've gotten that out there, to answer the question "What do I DO?" since I don't sell art anymore - one option is: "I feel joyful walking other peoples' dogs."
May great Joy and Freedom be yours. Namaste.
The title and subject of this post was also inspired by a chapter from "Rooted in the Infinite" by Rebbie Straubing.
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